I was a homemaker for 24 years,married all that time,and we had 7 kids together. I have remarried, and had over 2 years between marriages. I decided it might be helpful to other homemakers to pass on what I learned. I am now working full time, and a part-time homemaker,and can say honestly that that is lots easier. Homemaking is unpaid because it is PRICELESS. There is no other job anywhere as all-consuming as being a wife and mother and keeping a home when you have that as YOUR career!
1. PUT LIMITS ON YOUR HOUSEWORK. I have known a few homemakers for whom keeping an orderly,immaculate home became their mission in life. Some were successful in involving the family in their obsession so they all were thinking cleanliness and orderliness all the time. Other women were doing it themselves because “I want it done RIGHT, and NOW”. While I did envy them their clean, organized homes, NONE of them seemed like happy people. Often, the family members were unhappy, too, with their needs for Mom or Sweetie unmet while she endlessly cleaned and arranged and nitpicked.
A clean house is necessary for health, mental AND physical, but after all is said and done, ALL a house is is a place for the family to LIVE. Children only stay little and at home such a BRIEF while, spouses die before you know it, and the time to be with them and love them and enjoy them is NOW,TODAY.
So, do some housecleaning every day (except for 1 day a week,you NEED a day off), but,EVERY DAY, also have an END TIME for it. Once that time is reached,STOP. Spend the rest of the day with you, your spouse and children, and put the housework completely out of your mind until tomorrow. If it pops into your head, yell “TOMORROW!!” at it. 20 years from now, the kids will have forgotten how often you dusted, but they WILL remember the bedtime stories, your attendance when they were sick, your getting to ALL their concerts and award ceremonies. And the time you spend with your spouse is the way to a great marriage. Like a healthy garden,for a healthy marriage, YA GOTTA PUT IN THE HOURS.
2. FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS, OR THE SPIRIT,IF YOU BELIEVE IN IT.That was something I read in “The First 5 Years” by Dr. Virginia Pomeranz in my teens, and it WORKS. She didn’t mention the Spirit,but I am convinced that, for those with faith, the Holy Spirit CAN and WILL give us perfect advice. Dr. Pomeranz advocated following your instincts, even when they conflicted with advice from parents and friends and relatives. She said to ask yourself 3 questions in child-rearing. Am I happy? Is my spouse happy? Is the child happy? If the answers are all yes, then things are just fine. If there’s a no, an adjustment of some kind is called-for. The idea is, trust your own deepest feelings. You may wind up raising your family in a different way than other people, but that may well be just fine, as long as you follow that Voice within you, and not fads, or pressures from parents,friends or the Powers That Be.
3.AVOID CLUTTERING YOUR LIFE. Stuff is nice,but the more of it you have, the more items you have to find places for, put away,clean, insure, maintain, keep instructions for, remember who you loaned it to, and so on. So, the more stuff you own, including even PETS, the more time you must spend on your stuff, and the less time you will have for the REAL joys in life, that all come from NON-stuff. I have had it both ways, and I highly recommend the non-cluttered life. In fact, I have found that giving away my stuff brings a joy so warm it is almost HOT, while GETTING it is more of a short-lived pleasure.
Half the stuff means half the time needed to look after it!
So, if you are a homemaker,I wish you great joy and success in your chosen vocation!
